Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Permanently Scarred

Today we had to take sweet Elizabeth in for additional labs (meaning 5 vials of blood).  After our experience at the hospital, I was nervous, and so were my in-laws.  So, my fabulous mother-in-law went with Elizabeth and me to the lab.  The first thing Elizabeth said when we got there was "are they going to poke me?"  I didn't answer her.  Maybe she would forget about it.  After waiting for 1 hr. (with no one in front of us), the lab tech called us back.  Elizabeth immediately started sobbing.  She knew what was coming.  She started screaming, "I want to go home."  I don't know if anything breaks a mother's heart more than a heartbroken child, but here I was having my heart broken again.  How can I do this to my baby?  Stupid snake!  So, there we are, wrestling with my 3 yr. old, me with my legs wrapped around her, and Nana Laura covering her eyes, and trying to distract her.  It was awful, but at least they hit the vein the first time (unlike at the hospital).  Tender mercies.

Now at home, she is pretending with anyone who will pretend with her, that she is a Dr. and she is going to poke them.  Of course, she would really like the recipient of the "poke" to cry mercilessly after the needle.  She is a funny kid.  Now I have found out I went to the wrong lab, and they won't get the results in time for Occupation Therapy.  Arghh.  Should they have labs 100 feet apart?  Seriously! Now, I am feeling like an awful mother.  But, this is all a learning experience, I just wish I was learning it with my own troubles instead of with my sweet baby.

I am not a fan of this experience. Last night, my sweet Lizard (Elizabeth) woke up with nightmares.  She was screaming, and terrified and it took her two hours to get back to sleep. I don't know if she was dreaming about that rotten snake, or if she is terrified of all the Docs, nurses, and needles.  Poor little kid.   I wish it was all over, but we still have more blood work ahead of us (because venom stays in the body longer than anti-venom).  Occupational therapy starts tomorrow, and I really hope they just give me stuff to do, so I am not driving 45 minutes away each time she needs to do work.  

We are also so blessed.  Our ward has really wanted to do something for us. With my parents flying into town to take care of us, we weren't really "in need."  So, now they are gone, I feel so blessed, and somewhat guilty my friends are bringing dinner to my family.  I know I could make dinner, but it is still a blessing to have that taken care of.  I am coming off the adrenaline now, and those sleepless nights are catching up with me.  So, I really am blessed that my ward is good to us.  I have been touched and amazed at the rally of support we have seen.  

4 comments:

lydia said...

My heart aches with you Sarah! I can't imagine having to go through this with one of my kids! I'm glad that you've had lots of support though. It's hard to beat the Countryside Ward for that kind of stuff. I wish I was still there to bring you a dinner too! You guys were always so good to us in our times of need.

Hang in there! We are thinking of and praying for you guys!

Denise said...

Oh Sar... I've cried like 3 different times just thinking about what you guys have gone through and knowing how awful it would be to see little McKay go through that and heaven knows that it just as easily could have been her. I also wish there were something we could do.

We will keep praying that each day gets a better. The girls keep reminding eachother in their prayers "don't forget to pray for Lizzie."

The Jones' said...

Sarah stay strong. This will pass, how long though is the question. But I know you and you are so positive and already have seen the good in this. You will be blessed and things will be fine. We sure think about you a lot. I hope your kids are letting you lay down and get a little sleep, nothing is worse then sleep deprivation. Pamper yourself. It is not worth going crazy.
Stay strong.

Ponczoch Family said...

A 45 minute drive each way... that could get old really fast! I hope that you are able to help Lizzie out at home. Your family is in our prayers.